Thanksgiving may bring thoughts of turkey, traditions, and favorite side dishes, but for many family law clients, it can also serve up parenting-time disputes, travel conflicts, financial strain, and simmering tensions during an ongoing divorce. Thankfully, a little planning can keep those issues from boiling over into urgent calls and emergency motions. By helping clients spot predictable holiday trouble before it lands on the table, you can protect their peace of mind while preserving your own time with family and friends.

Addressing your clients’ potential holiday problems is much easier in October than on the courthouse steps in November. Well before the hustle and bustle of the season, identify those clients whose matters are presently contentious and involve parenting time, travel, and child support issues. A brief review of your client’s temporary orders or parenting time agreements now may help avoid the inevitable phone calls when you are ready to slice the turkey with your loved ones. Be sure to address any ambiguity or questions concerning the exact start and end times for holiday parenting time, travel plans between the homes of extended family members, and how the parties will handle the Thanksgiving break from school. Encourage your clients to focus on the children and be flexible when possible, so the kids can enjoy the holiday and not feel caught in the middle. Taking a proactive approach will best serve your clients and hopefully allow you to enjoy the upcoming festivities without the distraction of your phone or email. 

Thanksgiving can bring more than travel and parenting-time challenges to the table – financial disputes may also take center stage. Support concerns can intensify, while disagreements over shared childcare costs, gifts, and children’s activities may quickly add to the tension. Help clients plan now by identifying foreseeable expenses before they become emergencies. Review any existing orders that govern these costs or require the parties to agree in advance. You might also encourage clients to set a budget for gifts and holiday break activities, and to keep clear records in case a dispute or reimbursement request arises. Remind them, too, that “the most wonderful time of the year” is just around the corner and can magnify these same pressures if expectations and expenses are not addressed early. A little financial planning before the Thanksgiving feast can help clients navigate both holidays without serving up an emergency court filing. 

Finally, before your office closes or has reduced hours during the holidays, make sure your clients understand they are welcome to contact you, but more importantly, what circumstances qualify as an emergency. While some issues – such as a child’s safety – clearly warrant a call to you regardless of the day or time, a disagreement over who brings the pumpkin pie would not. Counsel your clients to consult any orders governing the specific issue, attempt to amicably resolve the matter themselves, and then contact you if the issue simply cannot wait. While our ethical obligations require us to be available and promptly communicate with our clients, that duty is limited to what is reasonable. And by preparing your clients for potential disputes ahead of time or helping them resolve the issues now, your clients will be better equipped to navigate what may be a challenging time of year for them (and they won’t have the expectation that you will be operating a 24-hour holiday hotline). 

While you can’t anticipate every situation that may come up while you are away from the office and celebrating with your family and friends, you can prepare your clients to handle the unanticipated flight delay, Black Friday shopping expenses, or complications involving an extended family member. Be proactive by conducting an early review of pending matters, encouraging clear communication and realistic expectations between the parties, and establishing reasonable boundaries for yourself so everyone can focus on what Thanksgiving is all about: gratitude, good company, and a well-earned break from conflict. 

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